My fork is forkier than your fork.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 100 + 2

"EAT THIS, FOLKS"

You came back. That was a bad choice.

I have some statistics here that may amuse you. They are all about my life. Numbers amuse me. Numbers are my friend. Numbers rule the world because they just work and they tell people how the world works despite the fact most people think that they're arbitrary but the point is they work EVERY TIME and holy shit I need to start giving you some actual numbers.

• height: 6'3"
• weight: 71kg
• BMI: ridiculously low
• toes: 10
• fingers: 8
• thumbs: 2
• batteries: 2xAA
• age: 0L
• cards: 54
• cards needed: 64
• cheap wine: not enough
• last poker hand dealt: straight (without a flush)
• level on Borderlands: 14
• missions on Starcraft II: 24/25
• songs in iTunes library: 8,560
• your love: not enough

Next, I have a various assortment of factoids about me:

• I eat twenty packets of Mi Goreng every hour
• I own a wombat, whose name is Nivram
• I know world leaders on a first-name basis
• I hold the world record for "most pointless world records"
• I destroyed the Xel'naga race with my bare hands
• I own 10 computers
• I need a massage

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that I have lied on exactly two of those factoids. The other five factoids are true factoids. Which factoids are the true factoids, and which ones are the false factoids? Comment below. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

Finally, here is a pseudo-random assortment of cards.

• 7♥
• 8♠
• K♣
• Q♦
• 7♠

No wonder I never play poker.

Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 101

"THE BOLD, THE BEAUTIFUL, AND THE CJ"

Welcome to the sixth season of the CJ Curry Experience. If you don't know me, then you're in the wrong place. If you do know me, congratulations. Here's what I do: I blog. I blog my stream of consciousness. I blog the world as I see it. I blog your face.

I suppose I'd better start making some sense. And dollars. I'm CJ, and you're not. I'm a uni student who was shown blogspot.com at the age of 19 (the person who did that immediately regretted it). I'm fuelled by sleep deprivation, aeroplanes, and adrenaline rushes brought on by copious amounts of video games and random adventures through Narnia, the Discworld and Hogwarts. But mostly the Discworld.

I have at least one side project.

In real life^TM I study mathematics, statistics, and computer science. I write for everything2.com. I play TBS, RTS, FPS, RPG and sport sim games. I code (but I really only speak Java with any fluency - I only know C++'s swear words). I eat copious amounts of pasta, and say and write the word "copious" copious amounts of times. There's one thing that has changed since last season, that being I now have a wombat. Yay! Finally I can play womball!

If you want to find me, I can disappear. If you want to lose me, I will stick to you like glue. If you don't want to read this post, what the hell are you doing still reading it? Idiot. All that aside, however, I either need jam, or waffles with jam and bagels on top. I'll be back.

Waitaminute. Why am I disappearing in the middle of the first post back? That's normally a trick I reserve for later on. Hm. Either way, I know I'll be just as sporadic as last season, so don't expect the finale until well into December. Though I shall try. Suggest you check back here every week or so. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.